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My Kids are SOOOOOO going to need therapy!

Let me start by telling you that during the winter Ian's nose would get stopped up. He HATED for me to clean his nose. Regardless, it had to be done.
One day after removing a huge booger I showed it to him. I told him that if he didn't let me remove his boogers, they would start eating his brain. Yes, I know... I'm going to hell on the "Bad Mommy Bus". Heck, if you knew all my "Bad Mommy" moments you would know I'm actually the DRIVER of that bus!
So, fast forward to summer. I'm watching the kids run around the yard. Then all of the sudden Ian is running full speed with a bloody nose! Yelling. "Mommy! Boogers are eating my BRAINS!! BOOGERS are eating my BRAINS!!"
Poor baby. He just overheated. (Sean gets nose bleeds in the summer ALL the time! So, I know it's from the heat.)

Guess I better start a psychiatrist fund for the future.... These kids might need some serious help.

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A Mommy "JUST KNOWS!"
Yes, a mommy just knows....
*The sound of her child's cry (even yards away in a crowded playground).
*When her child is lying.
*When her child says "I love you, mommy" ever so sweetly for no apparent reason he/she WANTS something!
*That as soon as you give a toddler a regular cup it WILL be spelt within a minute.

So when I awoke in the middle of the night for no apparent reason I knew something was wrong. As I (half asleep) stepped into the hallway I saw Ian standing at the other end with his arms by his side staring straight ahead.

Ian, are you okay sweetie? (no answer) Ian, come here to mommy, I'll put you back to bed. (no answer or movement)

Okay, now I'm getting a little freaked out. He looks creepy just standing there. I expect him to raise his index finger and start murmuring "RED-RUM! RED-RUM!". (I have watched one to many scary movies in my lifetime.)

As I walk towards him something inside me tells me to walk faster.... I get to him just in time to catch a handful of vomit! I rush to the bathroom rinse my hands grab a towel and rush back to Ian. Luckily he waited for me and as soon as bend down to pick him up..... he violently barfs all over the front of my shirt, completely missing the towel I'm holding out to him. Two more outbursts before we make it to the bathroom... then no more the second I plop him down in front to the toilet. So, 2:00am and I'm bathing a reluctant 3 yr old and the fun doesn't end there; I still have a hallway to clean/disinfect not to mention "I" need to take a quick shower and run a load of all the newly soiled items. *fun times*

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Where's the "ME" in MOMMY??
I know.... I haven't posted anything in like, FOREVER! Now I get on and what am I going to to do? VENT! H*ll yeah! It's Wednesday (day 3 of summer) and the kids are already driving me crazy with their
"I'm bored",
"Mommy come here!",
"I'm BORED",
"Mommy, come take a picture of my toy."
"I'm B.O.R.E.D"
"Are we going to do anything today?"
"I'm borrrrrred!"
"I'm hungry! and bored."
**** I could go on all day but you get the point****

AAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAA! Calgon take me away! Back in the middle of April I was sooo frustrated.... Dean was home (and NOT much help) when I left. After 15 years of marriage I took my "ME TIME". I got in the car drove down the street stopped at the stop sign and wondered "Where the heck am I going?" It's 8:00pm for Pete's sake! I should be home folding that last load of cloths, unloading the dishwasher, picking Ian's Legos off the living room floor, going threw the growing stack of mail, making sure the kids have all brushed their teeth ...... all of a sudden my foot is off the brake and on the gas. I'm not sure where I'm going but it has to be better than what's waiting for me a home. I ended up at the movie theatre 25 miles away (all the movies at our local theatre had started, bummer.). I went to the the ticket counter and purchased a ticket to (RATED R) Perry Tyler movie Madela's Family Reunion (I think that was the name). Then off to the snacks! Large Diet Coke, Popcorn (with extra butter), and a large soft pretzel with cheese; now I'm ready!
Instinctly I carry everything in one arm and reach down with the other searching for the little hand that is endlessly tugging at my pants. After a brief second of my heart skipping a beat when I don't find the hand, I realize I'm here alone!
I thoughly enjoyed my (highly inapropriate for children) movie and all the coke and popcorn to myself, not to mention I actually got to taste the pretzel instead of automatically handing it over to little hands in the dark never to see it again.

So, here I sit wondering do I have to wait another 15 years to take another "ME TIME"?

Well, off the the pool and then baseball practice in the afternoon. My me time will just have to wait.

I'm also going to change the spelling of Mommy to Momme..... just a thought :)

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Have you seen this photo?

The one of Suri Cruise sucking on a pacifier when she's almost five?

Did you know it's upsetting many people?

Did you know it DOESN'T upset me?

Why?

I don't know..... ummmm maybe because she's NOT mine.
Therefore, what OTHER parents do is thier own business.

Some people don't seem to comprehend this. I like to call these people CRAZY. They are most likely part of the same group that make other mothers feel bad about not breastfeeding, cringe if you admit that you use pampers and NOT Cloth diapers, & positively look as if they are going to vomit everywhere when you say you buy Gerber baby food instead of making your own.

Basiclly the crazy group bugs me, ALOT. It's fantastic to have opinions but, making another parent feel bad about thier choices? NOT COOL.

I breast fed my first two kids for 3-6 months. Ian... well lets just say we tried. It didn't work.

But, if I simply didn't want to, that should be okay.

I used disposable diapers. Usually whatever was on sale.

I tried making homemade baby food with my first born. But with the other two... Gerber was my friend.

These are the people who are getting thier panties in a knot over the Suri Cruise photo.

My advice? Chill. Suri is not your kid. Focus on your own. And if you don't even have kids, just know it tends to annoy parents when non-parents give advice if not asked for any.

The Cruise's can afford to fix Suri teeth if pacifier messes them up.

If Suri sprains her ankle on the high heeled shoes she wears (this also tends to infuriate the crazies), so be it.

It's okay to give advice but if the advice is not taken... it's not the end of the world.

Really.

It's not.

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