January 14, 2013

Can you get stuck in a stage of grief?

I'm familiar with the five stages of grief.  I do believe that everyone processes grief in different ways, and I also believe that there are probably some common ways that everyone processes their grief.  I'm not here today to argue about whether the five stages are real or not. 

My question centers on something I've been wondering about for a few weeks now.  Is it possible to get stuck in a stage?  Do you think that somewhere on the road between denial and acceptance the mind can take a detour, and never get back on track?  I ask, because I feel this anger that I normally don't feel.  It baffles me.  I've never really been an angry person before.  I look in the mirror and wonder where it's coming from.  It's not like me to feel this way.

Is it all in my head?  Am I over-analyzing myself?  At what point will I snap out of it?

January 12, 2013

Sometimes the Laundry Just Needs to Get Done

“Mommy, will you play this with me?” My four-year-old peered over a mountain of heaping laundry baskets. He clutches his Avenger Trouble game in hand.

Ugh. I looked at my son, then at the laundry, then back to my son again. Scolding phrases whipped through my head—words I’ve read countless times in e-mail forwards and catchy Facebook posts. You’ve heard them. Those modern admonishments meant to encourage frazzled moms.

Days are long but the years fly by.

Rock and don’t sweep, because babies don’t keep.

A messy house is a happy house. 

So true! I believe that!

But then I stared down a pile of grubby socks and realized—enough, already. Seriously. This family is one day short of recycling our dirty underwear. Sometimes the laundry just has to get done.

I swallowed hard and gazed straight into my son's pleading eyes. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but I cannot play right now. Mom has to do some chores.”

Suddenly a strange sense of empowerment tingled through my veins. It felt a little like rebellion. Yes! I must do the chores! And that does NOT make me a bad mom!

Quite the opposite, I think.

My house is nowhere near immaculate. I stopped trying years ago, when I discovered kids are messy and moms need naps. But I wonder—have we gone a little too far? Do we encourage each other so much to spend every waking moment relishing fleeting childhood, that any time spent otherwise is deemed a waste, or selfish? We don’t guilt each other about our dirty floors anymore, and that’s great. But now, instead, are we sheepish about cleaning them?

I’m taking a stand for mothers everywhere.

It’s okay to clean. 

Or to cook. Or to spend a morning running errands, paying bills, making phone calls and folding towels. That’s what grown-ups do. And how else will our kids learn unless we demonstrate?

After all, life is not a big game of fun.

Recently, I read an article about an Amish family. It was a diary of their typical week, written by the father of six grown children. Each day consisted of chores, cooking, and family devotions. The grandkids ran in the barn while the older children milked cows, and everyone helped make pies for the family bakery business. They were all faithfully devoted to one another as they worked side by side from dawn to dusk.

Could it be that the real call on a family is not for the parents to serve the children, but for everyone to serve each other for the glory of God? It’s up to us parents to teach the kids how—by example.

Jesus did it first. He invited his disciples to follow him and learn from him while he worked. While he taught, healed, and prayed. As moms, our core duties are much the same. Teach. Nurture. Pray like crazy.

So sometimes we work. Sometimes we play. Strong families are built with both. Let’s stop the flow of guilt from either end, amen?

“Sweetie, I have a great idea.” I set Ian’s game on the table and clapped his hands in mine. “You can help me put these clothes in the wash. Doesn’t that sound fun?”

“Okay, Mommy!” His face lit up. “Can I push the buttons, too?”

“Absolutely. You are a good button pusher.”

“Yay!” He squealed with delight as if I’d just asked him to play, well, Avengers Trouble or something.

Amazing. It took an Amish diary to show me what a toddler knows at heart. Work is play.

Looks like I’m going to be getting a lot more laundry done around here. We might need bigger underwear drawers.

January 11, 2013

Sometimes, if you'll scroll threw your computer, you might come across some real gems like these that Daneilla found of Ian.

I love how his personality shows in these pictures that HE took of himself. He's a little ham. I'm so glad we were blessed with this little miracle. I can't imagine life without him.

Ian is so different from Daneilla and Sean. I would go as far to say "That if Ian was our first born, he would have been our ONLY child!!" Seriously. God knew what he was doing; By giving us the well behaved, easy going, obedient, children first. He saved all our patience and sense of humor for our last. But, no matter what..... I wouldn't change it for the world. Ian is so lovable, funny, and he gives the best hug and kisses.

January 10, 2013

Sean and Dean's order comes in. "Toys" for the RC cars..... Ian is interested in the boxes. He's put a pillow in it and has dragged it to Daniella's room with the intent to sleep in it. The smaller box is being pushed around the living room by the cat.

Silly, adorable, little boy! I love you!

January 9th on the 10th

Yesterday, when I tried to post this picture it was taking FOREVER! I gave up I was NOT going to be up at the wee hours of the night for a post. (I save that time to spend on Pinterest).

Sean took this picture with the new camera he received for his 10th birthday (December 3rd). This is the boys collection of RC cars. Pretty sweet huh? 

January 8, 2013

Today's pictures are from December 31, 2012 the last day of year.  The large sparklers were a hit! Come July I'm going to buy enough of these to last till they sell fireworks again. 

It's funny when Deanna and Daneiva were little we would always purchase $50-$75 worth of fireworks. Deanna had a tackle box where she would store all "her" fireworks and she ALWAYS had fireworks though out the year. Daneiva, one the other hand, would pop all hers in one night.

January 1-7, 2013

Okay, today is the 7th day of the new year and this is my first post. Kind of reminds me of the beginning of LAST year. But, this WILL NOT be a repeat of last year last year was the worst in my life! Even if something bad happen I will look for a silver lining.

January 1st while at H.E.B someone back up into my car and left. Didn't leave a note, nothing. I was pissed and vented on Facebook. I even went as far as calling the person an a$$hole. Then my Uncle Luis comment that "at least we weren't in the car". He's right. It could have happened while we were all in the car and on the road! I need to remember that God's has a reason and purpose for everything. From now on, I will trust in God and not question why something happens. I will just take it and deal with it or pray for the guidance to get me threw it.

The above picture was taken January 1st..... Thank you God for blessing me with such beautiful kids and protecting them everyday.

January 2, Had to take Ian to Dr. for antibiotics for a double ear infection. Poor baby was in pain the night before. The Dr. prescribed antibiotics and ear drop pain reliever that worked wonderfully!!

January 3, While at Wal-mart today I found the game Pictionary! And at half priced!! Double yippee! We played that night and the kids LOVED it. We played teams Daneilla and I against Sean and Dean. Daneilla and I won, Dean said it wasn't fair because we have a "special" connection and the we could probably read each other's mind....LOL. He's such a soar loser.

January 4, Mom and dad arrived today for a surprise visit! It's always great when family visits.

January 5

Took Daneilla and her two best friends to Olive Garden for lunch and to the mall for a shopping trip (our gift to her friends). Those two girls are like family. Such sweet funny girls. I think they had fun.... Denea was excited because we were able to drop off her new iPhone and get her screen fixed.

January 6, Thanks dad for helping/showing me how to clean the AC drain and drain pipe. I think this will fix the problem of it freezing up so often.

January 7, Kids go back to school surprisingly I had no trouble with the kids getting up and ready on time! I'm sure they'll be tired after school and take a nap. Knowing Daniella, she'll probably be in bed by 7:00!